Post by Lilly Starbroke Pierce on Mar 4, 2015 1:12:27 GMT
Lilly Starbroke Pierce ✯
Many people had good lives. They had kids who love them, husbands or wives who couldn't be happier, dogs running around to greet you when you come home from work, good money, no drama. But this woman wasn't one of those people. In fact she was far from it. She knew how Emmett pushed his own concerns and worries aside from her when she caused everybody pain. If anybody should be pushing away their own desires for others it should be her. And that's what she was doing. Following orders and commands like the good finance she should be. Being like a dog is easy to be honest when you're her. Too traumatized and damaged to even be her own person, she has learned to depend on people and let them control her. One point in time was she a strong willed and fiery girl but... that person has died down. They're still there though, deep inside, but it'll take a little while for them to come back out. Not to mention that she couldn't be any guiltier. The first time, it was her fault she had gotten drunk. Too annoyed to even handle the noise and irritation of everything then she didn't even call anybody. Too independent and stubborn to do shit. Then she was too weak to hold onto the damn horse. Too weak to swim out before her head had smashed into a boulder in a river. Too damaged to take control of her own mind once more. It was either she was too strong-willed or too pathetic.
Getting all the money she could was something she could do the least for her tiny, broken family. Emmett should hate her. Should of left her but she wasn't sure what made him stay. Whether it was the kids or the fact that they've been together for so long, she wasn't entirely sure. And the fact he proposed to her while she could possibly have another man's child in her only made her dumb-founded. How could he be so trusting? How could he even love her anymore? Even want her after she caused him pain? And why did he keep pushing away his own feelings? The questions she wanted to know would never be answered. They couldn't be, she didn't have a right to ask him anything. Let alone still have him as a lover. Being too curious for her own good was a trait that she's kept through and through. Whether it be in a friendly manner or just curious for the sake of it, it would always be there.
Loving a man who couldn't be any more perfect was a problem when you weren't able to match to them. It was such a shame such a lovely woman turned out to be... such a tragedy. She might of bitten off more than she could chew. Her mistakes had caused everyone around her some form of tears, pain, harm, wounds. It was all her fault. It was her fault Emmett had gotten mauled, she caused him to get drunk just to numb the scars on his heart. It was her fault he could of died. She had gotten the two extra horses and caused them to barely have enough money to get anything else than necessities. It was her decision to get the children in the first place so even if she wanted to kill herself or if Emmett wanted to leave, the guilt of leaving their children missing a parent was too heavy. The mistakes she's made was too great for her, taking it on day after day was a roll of the dice as it seemed so heavy. Guess that was her fault too, huh?
One of the things she did to relieve her stress was drawing but she needed to get to work today. Seeing as this was a good time to ride her trusty mare, Liz, she set out to start some training. Working seemed to become more of a hobby than just some job. Riding was like... dreaming, in a weird way. It was like running from her problems but not exactly in the same sense. Riding was just a relief from her stress and frustration, it was a healthy thing to do. After all she needed the muscles to handle the growing weight in her abdomen and to build her muscles in her cut up arms and thin legs. Being strong in another way other than emotionally seemed like a refreshing type of thing, so working seemed to be the best thing.
Her hands glided with the brush along the cremello's pretty coat. Bronze eyes trailed after the pale hand as it worked its way through the corse and light fur. She felt a nudge in her side, causing her gaze to flicker over to spot the pale head sniffing at her. A small smile lit her face before petting behind an ear affectionately. "I'm almost done, Lizzie. Give me a moment." She answered with a smile before continuing her brushing. Setting the tools down she grabbed her equipment to set them on the Anglo-Arab with some difficulty. With a grunt she hauled the brown and worn out saddle onto the back with a pat along the fine leather. "Guess we'll need to get a new one soon, huh?" She asked the mare as she stroked the almost white mane that sat atop her thin neck. She heard a snort followed by an excited whinny. She laughed quietly "Alright alright, i'll get one soon. That'll be good..." She answered before buckling on the straps and bridle. Placing on her helmet and slipping on her chaps, she swung herself onto the saddle weakly. Her short legs stretched themselves around before pushing her heel down and straightening out her back. "You ready, Lizzie?" The woman asked before the Anglo-Arab began to jog off. With a small smile she moved freely with the horse's movements.
Approaching the arena eagerly, bright bronze eyes swept across the clearing. She had already set up her jumping poles but didn't go straight for them. Her mare was blind and she put in special care for the equine. She had to go through the courtesy and care of making sure she was used to her surroundings first, after all, she didn't want to spook the poor thing. She loved the Cremello too much to even let her get scared enough to not trust her. Guiding the equine with relative ease through the fenced in area, pale fingers curled themselves around the reins as her body moved up and down with Liz's trot. She used gentle movements as it didn't take much to move the excited girl. A small smile curved the corners of her lips upwards. Seeing her equine happy made her happy. She loved the mare even if her heart was broken. She gave her an odd sense of comfort, knowing someone was always there for her even if they couldn't speak but could still love her with their own heart.
After some laps around the arena, the woman then directed her mare towards the jumping poles. She swallowed the lump sitting in her throat. She was always scared of fast movements after her incident in the woods. She was scared of falling off the horse but she knew Lizzie wouldn't mean it. After all the two were like best of buds, enough so to trust one and other as an equal. With shaky breathing puffing out her nose, her eyes slightly narrowed in soft determination. Slowly sliding into her two point position, the woman glided with her mare as she leaped over it effortlessly. She blinked a couple of times in relief, letting out a soft sigh through her mouth before straightening her back out slightly. "Good girl." She told Liz as a hand patted her neck, slowly transitioning them into a walk. Lilly sat up straight as her palm glided across the pale golden neck. The mare proudly walked with her head raised at the praise and she let out a small giggle. "Don't look so pleased, we aren't done you goof." She playfully said before starting up a jog.
Slowly nearing the jumps once more, she picked up the pace. But perhaps a little too quick because soon she was cantering, almost to a gallop. "H-Hey, Liz!" She gasped but she wasn't one for barking orders. Before she could slow down the horse, she was forced to duck into her two point position once more and hands clung to the mane as the ground beneath them suddenly disappeared. She had to keep her eyes open despite her fear of watching what could happen unfold in front of her but in a moment there was a loud thud of delicate hooves slamming onto the soft ground once more with a excited nicker. Her eyes widened in surprise before slowing her horse down to a halt. Arms wrapped around Liz's neck fiercely in a hug, frame gently shaking. She felt a muzzle stroking her cheek as an apology. "..I-It's okay," She said before softly petting the top of her head. "It was my fault anyways."
Words: 1540 || Notes: ||
Horse Name: Only A Royal "Liz"
Discipline: English
Events: Show Jumping
Let me give your heart a break ღ
