I Still Remember [Naujicca]

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 24, 2015 3:33:39 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on May 24, 2015 3:33:39 GMT

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Memories stay, people leave

you gave me your best

and i gave you my worst

It wasn't that hard to know that he was made to suffer. That all he was ever meant to feel was pain, regret, guilt, agony... It was all he knew. All he thought about when he woke up and when he fell asleep. It was the only ache his heart would bring... the only emotion that pounded in his head. He could only spend his hours... feeling whatever he had to just to let himself know.. that he was still alive. He had to bleed to know his heart was still beating... that he still had to suffer... that he still hd to endure this pain of living. And the only thing that could bring him comfort was when he fell asleep... to where he could remember happier times. When he was with the only one he could ever truly love. The one that could only ever love him for what he was and he would always be. She believed in him for the better, she gave him the benefit of the doubt even when the demons inside came out to play every day, ever hour of every minute. Perhaps she was the only light that he could find in his dark world. Within those dark thoughts laid his monsters... laid the memories he knew, full of depression and guilt. Everything. Everything he had ever done and everything that had became to be was his fault. That everything and anything that hurt him... that molded him like this was all his fault. And the only simple pleasures he had... was her. He tried. He tried everything to protect her and in the end... he was just another failure. How could he leave her alone? How could he leave her confused, not knowing when and if he'd ever come back.. if he'd ever live to see the light of day. He used to believe that his monster only let him thrive in the darkness that he found himself woven through, but he lived off of Madelynn. She kept him going. She was the only motivation he had in this world.. in this cage. Alone, in the dark, he knew not of the murderous intentions he once thought of, but only longing. For her gentle touch, her petite hands as he gripped them in reassurance. He longed for her love as she wrapped her arms around him, seeking for comfort, for something to hold onto, to believe in. He knew that he was the only one who could protect her... who could love her as much as he did. Who could see the angel behind her walls... The only one who could hold her... and tell her without a doubt that... he'd never stop loving her.

How... How could a monster, a beast like him ever get the privilege to be loved by someone like her... to have her child, to start a family with her. She was the only thing he could think about. The only person that could bring him hope through all the agony and the pain. That could bring light to his blood shot eyes. Those same piercing bright eyes looked to the moon in hope that she was looking at it too. His body laid on the cold ground, trapped in a rather small cage. Metal bars trapped him in, too small for him to stand up. He was broken. His heart was only shattered pieces, no longer able to fix itself. His mind... dear god his mind was only worse. He couldn't even think right... and if he tried to stray off the path of one thought he would only lose his thoughts.... like how he lost his sanity. Without her by his side.. he was lost. He didn't know what he had become, but it was worst than before. This was a worst hell than the one he lived in before, when Madelynn was still near, when she still relied on him.. where was she now? He was such a screw up for ever even thinking that freedom was better than laying by her side, listening to nothing but the sound of her beating heart... knowing she loved him as he did for her. Knowing every piece of his heart belonged to her.. he thought not of the pain she could cause, but the love she could bring if he let her in. He needed her... more than she could ever know. He only realized it.. when he lost her. He never got to say goodbye... Never got to hold her just one last time.. and now he plunged alone in the darkness. If a tree fell... when nobody's was around... did it even make a sound?

He didn't cry for himself... didn't cry because he wasn't with her. He cried because he could still feel her pain... he could feel her sadness, her grief, her panic, even miles and miles away, he could still feel her heart breaking.. and that's what he cried for. He worried for her sake, because nobody was around to hear her break... to protect her from the outside world, because only he knew what could happen to her... if he wasn't there. If he couldn't help her in broken times with open wounds. Nobody knew of their agony.. of their depression except for them. He knew of her pain... of her tears. Of her broken mind.... Nobody could understand the memories they had to endure... No one could ever know of their connection. Of how he could still know what she felt... even though he was far away it felt like they were so close. He laid there, tears strolling down his scaly cheeks. Claws scraped themselves against the concrete floor, his starved frame shaking and heaving quietly. His head bowed as blood red and icy blue eyes piercing the darkness, nostrils flaring. Her voice repeated in his ears over and over again.. "I love you..." Her sweet voice echoed, making his heart try to beat against his chest, in hopes that somewhere she would be able to feel the same. "I just hope one day you can forgive me. I just.. need you." The shuddering breathing escaping his corrupted lungs made him lay his head against the cold bars planted on the ground, claws wrapping themselves around his skull as the tears only came to his eyes, the stinging burn only making her voice grow through the pounding in his head. "I love you.. I love you... I love you.." Her voice couldn't stop calling itself into his ears, making him whimper softly. The echoing sounds of his weakly beating heart.

Her warmth was ripped from his side, making his muscles grow rigid. His heart skipped a beat as his pupils slitted, taking on a reptilian-like appearance. Hands turned into fists, turning around to see the cold, black, hard and shiny gun that was pressed up to Madelynn. His eyes darted to the attacker and he hardly registered that it was his brother before shifting into his demon form. Bones changed rapidly, transforming into a monster mid-air. Leaping onto the man, his jaws clamped on the front of his shirt and swung him around before tossing him away like a rag doll. His heart pounded in his ears, lucky to have saved her in time. I could of lost her... I... She could of died.. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, nostrils flaring wildly, whipping his skull back to Madelynn before standing in front of her defensively. He knew now... that he cared still for her... that after what she had done... he had always loved her.

The faint rattling of fingers dragging themselves across metal bars reached his ears. Eyes snapped open, the tears briefly stopping as a low growl rumbled from his throat. He whipped his head around to release a snarl. "What do you want?!" He snapped before slowly loosing the fire in his eyes... there she stood. Madelynn leaned against the cage, her hands wrapped between two bars as she stared at him in sadness. "Andrew... I'm.. I'm so sorry I can't save you." His gaze widened before he shifted his body around and swiftly crawled to the other side of the cage, his snout shoving upwards to brush against her hand. "No.. No don't apologize." He cried quietly, the tears flowing once more. "I... I left you... God, Madelynn... I'm... I'm s-such a fool!" He shouted at himself, head dropping as he cried. The woman crouched down to the floor, sitting down to reach through the cage and gently pick up his head to look into his eyes. All he saw was despair and sympathy. His mouth gaped open, but no words came out, thick tears slipping off his jawline. "I... I love you.... This is all my fault... I-I'm not strong enough... to save you..." She whimpered before he leaned his head into her hands. "Maddy dear... n-no... it's my fault... i'm... i'm so sorry... I love you so much... I just want to be with you again...." He murmured, voice dropping lowly. "We will, hun.... soon enough..." Was all she said before her frame faded away. Quickly he shoved himself against the side of the cage as she disappeared before his eyes. "N-No... Maddy?..."

Dread and panic set in as she slammed himself against the metal bars once more. He roared, mind shattering and cracking slowly. "Madelynn! Please, don't leave me! Come back!" He wailed, head dropping to the ground once more. A whimper slipped from his mouth once more. "Please... d-don't leave... i'll die without you..." He whispered to himself, her voice gone once more as silence once more filled his sense. He closed his eyes, crying. She wasn't here... She never was. He could still feel her warm touch against his cheeks, as if she were real... as if... she were here, by him once more. His body went numb, blood running cold as he laid there... staring at where her frame had stood. Where he believed she had come to save him. "Please... I... I need you..." His voice was now barely audible, eyes squeezing shut, the tears kept flowing. They couldn't stop, bringing the sting back to his eyes. "Let me leave this hell hole..." What he wouldn't give... to just have faith and hope back in his heart. His eyes glanced once more back to the moon, barely peeking out through one of the sewer covers that stood far away where it was still near the abandoned warehouse, where nobody dared to roam if there wasn't a fighting show. "Madelynn!" He cried her name, throat thrumming alive with the feelings he knew too well of. Pain.. regret, guilt, agony. He loved her... so much. Every imperfect perfection of her was so precious to him. She was so dear... so near to his broken heart. She was gone and he was lost on the beaten path. Didn't know left to right, right from wrong. She made him human.. made him strong. Stronger than he could imagine. Now he was nothing... just a pile of dust... left out to be picked up by the wind, never to be seen again. Even miles apart... his heart was still with her. Every broken, shattered piece of it. He loved her.. more than she could ever imagine.... and now? Would he ever get to be with her? Ever get to see her smile or their child again? What has become of her? All he knew... was that she was in as much pain as he was... and that hurt him more than it did being away from her. He couldn't comfort her... not like he could. Not like he should. "I...." The word escape from his tongue, half of his wings that were still intact folded over his back, curling against his cold fur.

"I love you, Madelynn... I miss you so much... I'll be back soon.."

Andrew

Pierce

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[attr="class","gbox"]2109 HERE

[attr="class","gContainer"]NOTES

[attr="class","gbox"]Im dead inside rn DX

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Last Edit: May 24, 2015 3:35:50 GMT by CHESHIRE COTTON

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 25, 2015 15:36:54 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 15:36:54 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

The most beautiful thing one could possibly hope to experience was the mysterious, for that was the source of all true art and science alike. He to whom emotion was a stranger, who could no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped purely in awe, was already dead, for his eyes were closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, provided a sense that the impenetrable to us really existed, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and most radiant beauty, to which mankind's dull facilities could only comprehend in their most primitive forms. That knowledge, that feeling, was at the centre of all curiosity. Life, to her, was an adventure of passion, of risk, of danger, of laughter, of beauty, of love; a burning curiosity to go with the action in the hopes of uncovering what the world was all about, to search for a pattern of reasoning, to burn one's bridges in the hopes of never returning down the same paths. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe that there were any heights that couldn't be scaled by a man who knew the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seemed to her, consisted of curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all was curiosity. When one believed in a something, believed it implicitly and unquestionably, there was nothing in the world they couldn't conquer.

There were many beautiful reasons to be happy within this life. The real things hadn't changed, not since she'd encountered the burly dog-man Roiss, of whom had developed unnecessary urges, a strange lust for her of which she could not understand. It was still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what she had; to be happy with simple pleasures; to have courage when things went wrong and swayed off course. Though, for the first time in her life, she refused to succumb to placing blind trust back upon the retched canid shifter. She knew little of love, aside from what he had taught her; she once suspected that finding the right one was about the man wielding a list of certain qualities, and in the scenario that he possessed them, they'd be compatible, and happy; a checkmark system. But through him, she had uncovered that a healthy relationship wasn't so much about sense of humour, or intelligence, or being attractive. It's was simply about avoiding partners with harmful traits and personality types; about being with a good person. A good person on his own, and a good person with her. Where the space between them felt uncomplicated and happy; a good relationship in which things just worked. They worked because, whatever the list of qualities, whatever the reason, the pair happened to be really, really good together. Happy. Lest, she was naive on levels of love, for she knew not of the sorrow, the suffering, the melancholy madness that shrouded the earth.

When one was joyful, when they said yes to life and had fun and projected positivity all around them, they became a sun in the center of every constellation, and people wanted to be near you. However, a life lived in solitude was a lonely once, likely why she so often longed to venture into human life, to explore the recesses of mankind, walk among them. It was strange; she had always been reliant upon herself, or at least that was until Roiss had twisted her life on its axis, discarding everything she once knew. Perhaps that was why she sported a sudden intrigue into their world, a curiosity sourced from the blue. She had an immense curiosity about life, and was constantly staring and wondering; she had been that way since she was young. Ah, but who could blame her? The world was full of mystery and things unknown, her secluded life having led her astray from common knowledge of the town. She longed to find more like herself, to find someone quite like her. Curiosity was one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect; being inquisitive about what lay within the world and at all its corners was a beautiful thing, after all.

Though, the question remained as to why the hell she'd decide to venture into the dark recesses of the underground. The truth simply was that she was curious; such an emotion was something that empowered her, overcoming every other sense with the pure desperation to know exactly what lay in the depths of the dark. She'd never liked the dark, for when one would stare into the abyss, the abyss stared back at them; as they battled their inner demons, they would likely become one herself. It brought about the faintest of reluctance to indulge within the strange area, though she forced herself, powered by her common inquisitive nature. The raging blackness only swallowed and grew as she ventured further, acknowledging the thick moisture in the air, the rancid smell that enveloped the passageway, nose scrunching involuntarily against it. One hand extended pressed against the wall, forcing herself to remain guided by it, despite the rough sensation that met her fingertips. The unclothed feminine (due to the fact that she was inexperienced in the art of shifting, her last clothing had torn) wandered until the passage opened up, shuddering faintly against the cold, her eyes curiously searching the area, slowly growing accustomed to the darkness. A faint metallic glint was evident, and a small flicker of light reflected upon the walls from a dimly lit lantern, revealing several cages, most holding a dark mass within. Knowing not of suffering, of basic right, the female blankly strode forward, intrigued by the unsteady rising and falling of one particular being; some form of canid. Moving into a crouch, and approaching the cage slowly, her breath caught in her throat as she studied the brute of a dog within, bleeding wounds littering its frame, breathing in harsh pants; instinctively, the urge to comfort the beast overcame her, though as a hand extended through the bars, and a gentle coo was produced, the frame of the canid stumbled upright, teeth clamping around one of the woman's fingers. Yelping frantically, a cry of anguish, shock and pain slipping from her throat, and tearing her hand back from the bars, the feminine's frame instinctively drove into that of her animalistic counterpart, feathered appendages flaring outwards, staggering back... Right against another cage. Oddly toned irises staring frightfully back at the dog, of whom was looking back at her with a violent glare, her chest heaved in unstable gasps, before finally acknowledging the cold of the bars she was pressed against. Blinking slowly, and forcing herself to tear her eyes away from the dog, she slowly twisted her feathered frame towards the unknown cage, swallowing harshly, her eyes locking onto the even larger mass. After several moments of tense staring at the assumed vicious beast, she finally acknowledged the fact that the creature appeared almost... Forlorn. Despondent. Crestfallen. The sheer melancholy was plastered upon reptilian features, faint wetness adorning the creature's face. The grief that radiated from it... No... From him was heartwretching, harrowing her heart. Curiosity wove its way slowly back into her gaze, alongside an overwhelming pity, which had a faint wetness beginning within her own eyes. Her frame retreated back into her human form once again, bare skin standing out against the darkness, lowering herself into a sitting position, unknowing to the fact that to be unclothed was to be considered indecent. There was no hesitance in her gaze, despite her hand bleeding and throbbing from the canid she had previously attempted to reach out to. Slowly, her uninjured palm extended, reaching out towards the being's shoulder blade, in the effort to slowly run her hand across it. A slow, shuddered exhale left her, if only in effort to calm herself, the painful emotions swirling in her chest so foreign, so torturous, "N-nolite... Contristari..." Glassy brown eyes, so full of a emotion towards this strange caged beast, welled with tears. "... Vos es non unus iam...

WORDS 1324
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE you're not alone by red
NOTES this phone is torturous omfg six hours and a lost post later, this happened xD

TRANSLATION nolite contristari, meaning don't be sad
vos es non unus iam meaning you're not alone now

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

Last Edit: May 29, 2015 15:11:06 GMT by SPARROW

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 25, 2015 17:08:36 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on May 25, 2015 17:08:36 GMT

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Memories stay, people leave

you gave me your best

and i gave you my worst

It wasn't that he was ungrateful for the fact that he was still alive with a beating heart, but how long could he stand out? How long could he prevent himself from unleashing his demons? How long.... it was such a delicate question with answers he knew that would come too soon, too fast. He always knew that at one point instead of beating on his sanity, life took what was most precious to him. And it worked... it worked so well. How could this happen to him? How could he let curiosity take his mind and senses over? He should of just gone back home... just went back to where his heart laid.. with her. It felt like just yesterday the woman was curled up against him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders in an affectionate manner. He kept her safe in his arms.. The love they shared kept him going. Knowing that even tomorrow or next week that Madelynn would still love him for him lit his heart up. To know that somebody could love the monster he was made of... how could she? How could she keep going on loving him knowing he could hurt her? Did she not care? Questions to which he had no answers to... no more knowledge, no more sanity... And instead it was replaced with the tears and blood stains. He knew what he looked like... pathetic.. he looked like some ragged mess of a beast, but still a demon nonetheless. Was this where his home was meant to be? Forever in punishment... in torturing.. in suffering... just to be broken, so somebody could know that they had a monster on their side.

Nobody knew of what happened behind these metal bars, underneath the roads of this town. Of what truly lurked in the shadows, what he knew of, what he was. There was nobody coming to save him because nobody knew where he was, like he was a ghost that just slipped away to join the darkness of the night. And who could blame them? Who would want him in their life... a beast, a devil. He knew what he was and he would always be, who could find it in their hearts to feel sorry for him?... There was only one person in his life that he trusted with his heart and his mind. Only one who cared enough to cry for him... Madelynn.. Madelynn, Madelynn... She knew of his pain. She was the only one who cared enough to venture behind his crumpled walls to see the man inside. She was the only one in his life... that didn't hate him. There's wasn't a lot of people he knew, that much was evident, but only 1% cared enough to love him like he had always wanted. Simple desires that he didn't deserve, that he never earned or gained. He didn't deserve anything better than a knife slicing through his wings. He deserved this pain... he had gained this agony, this torture, this punishment. This was all his fault. He screwed up- no, he was a bomb waiting to set off, waiting to hurt everybody around him and drag them down with him into this hole he dug himself.. into the hell he called home.

It was like a climb on a never ending hill, a constant uphill battle, but all he went was down... down into this abyss of selfish pleasures and desires. There was no where for him to go, no body that could comfort him as she did, welcome him as she could with open arms, love him like she would... Care for him like she did. He could still feel in, the soft beating in her heart, the grief as it slipped down her face in tears, the longing in her. He could feel it, as bright as day, it was there. It always had been... he could always feel it. The love she had inside her, she was the angel he had never asked for, but was gifted upon him. Now he had to prove if he truly loved her... and he did. He had to find a way out... but without his wings he couldn't fly.. not anymore. His freedom was ripped away from him, forever. Forever left on the ground and now instead of flight or fight, it was only fight. He knew what he had to do... but he couldn't. He had nobody telling him by his side that he could. That he had the ability to escape, and there was nobody here in this hell for him. Only others that could burn with him, others that suffered with him. He knew all the sins he had performed, all the crimes that he held, the blood on his hands. It was all because of him. It was all his fault, it always was, it always would be. It was always his fault, any pain, or any scars he knew was because of him... and if he were to die down here.... it would be because he had led himself here. Led himself to this hell, to this abyss, to his death.

It wasn't long before snarls and snaps of jaws sounded off, making his head jerk upwards. Scarred muzzle pointed itself towards the direction the sound was coming from, seeing a rather unique creature bump its back into his cage. He skittered backwards, frame actually trembling with fear. Of what? He wasn't quite sure, but distrust was in his interest. However this cage was rather small and he soon had his back squished up against the metal bars pressed up against the wall. The feathered canine slowly turned around to stare at him, but he did not see harsh cruelty in her eyes, nor fear, but genuine pity and sorrow. For what? He wasn't sure, but... it was warm and welcoming. His jaws slowly gaped open, hesitantly crawling forward to allow her hand to brush his shoulder. "Nolite contristar, vos es non unus iam" His head tilted slightly, eyes searching her face. It was evident she didn't speak English, but hopefully she understood? One could only hope in times like these. "Who are you?" He gestured with a claw to her, voice low. "I am Andrew." He felt a bit silly speaking slow, but it would help her understand right? A claw was placed on his chest to gesture to him when he called himself Andrew. "Thank you..."

Andrew

Pierce

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[attr="class","gbox"]1200

[attr="class","gContainer"]NOTES

[attr="class","gbox"]Let the cuteness begin <3

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 25, 2015 21:17:17 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 21:17:17 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

The complexities of adult life so often got in the way of the truth; the great philosophers had always been capable of clearing great complexities and feasting their eyes upon simple distinctions, simple when stated, vastly difficult to trace beforehand. Though, surely to follow them would ensure no more than to be childish in question and falsely mature in response? Lest, the levels of intrigue of which the feminine sported so often outweighed any fear of controversy she bore burden to. The generality of mankind was lazy through her eyes; what distinguished men of genuine achievement from the bunch was not so much their intellectual powers and aptitudes as their curiosity, their energy, and fullest use of the potential they sported, for not one being could possibly acknowledge how intelligent or talented they were until they had discovered the incentives to use themselves to their fullest. Whatever came to create mankind had evidently given them far more than they knew what to do with. Her searches for knowledge were seemingly arbitrary, without context; in spite of that, she was anything but blind, shining the light of curiosity into the ashen void of the melancholy world. Truly, she yearned to know everything she could; her inquisitive nature was simply a part of her, like her blonde locks, or her chewed fingernails; an expense of the senses in an effort to know life at all its extremes. The new possibilities, to new experiences, she was like a moth to a flame; it'd be the death of her one day. And yet, her appetite for new days hadn't yet ceased, and it likely never would.

Parents could only provide good advice or place their children upon the right paths, though the opening of their life and the reluctant dismissal of responsibility would enable even that to sway; ultimately, the final forming of a person's character lay within their own hands, hence, without an guidance, she had crafted herself into the light of the world around her. Perhaps he innocence was a kind of insanity within a sense, driving her beyond foolish extremes, yet somehow always falling short of common knowledge. Abuse held the power to manipulate and twist a child's natural sense of trust and love, innocent emotions mocked and belittled into taught to ignore them entirely. And though strictly her parents had barely laid a hand upon her in any sense of the notion, the feminine's abandonment could easily be seen as an act of cruelty. A child being abused could not afford to feel the full range of human emotion while being harmed; pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion. Hence, they were short-circuited until the child went numb, for any expression of feelings, even a singular tear, was cause for only more harm; the only recourse was to shut down. Feelings went underground. And, in some odd kind of reverse psychology, that was strictly what she had done, for although not withholding herself from any presented pleasures of life, her nature had her avoiding pain whenever possible. Perhaps it could be blamed upon the faint timidness instilled in her heart; one if the few remnants of her father alongside the feathers and wings that adorned her animalistic form. Innocence. Simple and trusting like any child should be, not judgemental, nor committed to one narrow point of view as so many humans were; the freshness of innocence would never fade when one ultimately embraced it, regardless of time.

Upon initial glance, the beast appeared brutish, though sighting him recoiling had her heart clenching within her chest, fearful gaze softening promptly into that of soldering pity, tears of both pain, shock and sympathy stinging her orbs, the creature pressing his back against the wall as if fearing being struck, of harm being dished out to him, of which was not her intention in the slightest. The feminine's uneasiness began to falter away swiftly at the sight of his apparent fear, the extended palm and gentle words seemingly enticing him forwards; perhaps he was just as equipped with curiosity as she. The woman only slightly flinched as her fingers brushed against his shoulder blade, faintly fearful that he'd lash out as the canid did, though her intrigue promptly overcame her senses upon her fingertips detecting an odd merging of fur and scales. Her gaze briefly faltered from studying his own mismatching pair, glancing towards the area of which the textures merged like a patchwork doll. Delicately, her fingernails scratched at the scales with an inquisitive tip of her head, studying the way they connected to the beast's flesh, noting the faint roughness of healed scars, before slowly withdrawing her palm from the bars, returning to merely studying seemingly reptillian-based facials, dark eyes blinking back at him, pure fascination evident within their depths, unable to tear her gaze from him. Lest, it was a curious thing, his existence, blunt as that was. He was kind of cute... In a strange way.

A pointed claw twisted towards her, prompting her to blink in faint question, his words bringing no light, for to her they were no more than a warble of strange sounds sprouting from his jaw. Her facials dropped into a contemplative frown, such plainly expressing her confusion, nose crinkled, though as she realised how knotted and distorted she appeared when faced with such confusion, she promptly released a snort of amusement, a giggle rising from her throat, expression dropping back into the blissful oblivion of obliviousness. Though, her attention refocused swiftly upon him as a claw settled upon the beast's chest instead, her eyes tracing the limb, before twisting back towards his facials in attempt to acknowledge the drawl of words of which bore no initial meaning. Contemplating such an action, however, and resorting to the reluctant memory of Roiss for clarification, she briefly reminisced such a gesture; hadn't he often done such a thing when talking about himself? Believing herself to have falsely cracked the code, a finger settled upon her own chest, attempting to repeat his words with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm for her own good, vocals forming an estranged coo of sorts. "Eyyumm Andoooo!" Lest, it was evidently a poor attempt. Regardless of such, her bare frame drove back into that of her hybrid animalistic counterpart, seemingly indecisive over which form to take, before rubbing her flanks against the bars of his cage, an odd, affectionate coo vibrating within her throat. Andrew, she thought, enjoying the memory of his words rattling within her mind, I like that. Her frame swept once more alongside the cage, rubbing her body against the bars, before allowing her weight to tip on the side, rolling onto her back, wings sprawled awkwardly beneath her, staring back at him with her odd yellow orbs, flashing a wide grin. "Andoooooo!" Though, the longer she remained near the beast, the longer the radiating tinge of blood in the air became evident. Equipped once more with a frown, her weight was lifted back onto all fours, ignoring the faint stinging through one of her limbs sourced from the dog bite, merely focusing upon this so called Andrew, of whom's name was apparently an inexplicably hard to pronounce. Her eyes instinctively searched his large frame for signs of opened wounds, finding several. "Muuhr... Andoo?" she questioned in a slur of words, pointing to one of them, before her gaze switched back to his facials.

WORDS 1239
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE you're not alone by red
NOTES I already love them together omg <3

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 25, 2015 22:39:00 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on May 25, 2015 22:39:00 GMT

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The past is dead

Fall Asleep

To Dreams of Home

Andrew knew what he had done was wrong. That simple desires such as curiosity was only but a figment of imagination, the need to know was only a pleasure to which we thought we needed to know, but only bad things came from venturing to unknown territory. Curiosity killed the cat after all, wasn't it so? And if it was true, he may of gotten himself into deeper trouble, dug himself a deeper hole, a bigger grave, just another sin onto his list of crimes. A list of crimes that needed to be punished. It was only right for him to get his 'just desserts'. He was made to crash and burn, never to rise from the ashes. Not because he couldn't, but because hope was so far away. He couldn't reach it anymore. He was lost and he was broken. He was weak and vulnerable, unable to care for himself, unable to go on. The determination and motivation he had once had was gone. It had disappeared just as he had. And yet he still suffered. He still couldn't escape from this cage of torment, the endless desolation and distress lead him on the road of pang, forever left out to dry. He deserved so much more punishment... so much more misery. This was only a dent on his emotions, on his memory, his trauma. He knew he needed more, as if the pain could one day serve him good. That maybe one day he could finally become the man he once was, but he knew his mind was breaking slowly, his sanity running on a thin line. How long could he hold out until he was saved? That is.. if he was.

Would he ever be able to see the light of day again? And what about his daughter? Was she okay with Madelynn? Would he ever get to see her precious face again... So many things he wanted to see, to hear, but so little time. That's all he could ever ask for anymore. Just one more minute. Just another day. Another week. He just wanted another chance, but he didn't deserve it. He never earned anything except for the sorrow he was given. It was all he had ever gained if anything, and he knew it. He always had and he always would. A grief-fulled sigh escaped his corrupted lungs, fighting back the stinging tears that threatened to swell in his eyes. His throat ached with a faint burning sense as he swallowed down the hard lump in his throat. Fear shined in his eyes as commotion went on about near the front of his cage, skittering away from the ruckus. Claws stuck themselves into the platform at the bottom of the cage. His heart pounded against his chest before slowing calming down. There was... something about this young woman that made him want to draw himself closer. Tears swelled in her gaze, making bits of his broken heart ache with a sense of a sympathetic emotion. She looked so... sincere. So harmless. Even when the canine bit her, she did not lash out back. She was so.... innocent. She looked caring, empathetic. Of course he crawled toward her, awe striking his facial features.

Her soft touch brushed against his shoulder, making an almost purr like sound rumble from his throat. His head ducked down toward his paws, glancing over at her finger tips as they touched the way his pelt and scales clashed against each other. His eyes shifted to her own deep brown ones, grief glimmering in his lifeless eyes. The creature allowed her to touch at the hardened scales laid out across his body, however the warmth of her hand made his head raised, glancing to her curiously. He began to speak though he kept his tone almost hushed. He didn't want anybody coming down here and capturing this woman too. He searched her features as an almost blank expression came over her, a frown tugging at her lips. However it was dismissed as a giggle trickled from her mouth, making a small smile curl onto his muzzle. She was kinda cute, what with a child-like and innocent demeanor to her. He watched as she made no emotion to show that she understood who he was. However a small spark of realization lit in her face, making some part of hope flutter inside him thinking she may of understood. His mix-matched eyes watched as a finger pointed to her chest which he then realized was... bare. Heat rushed to his face as he stared at her chest for a moment before ripping his gaze away, darting his eyes away from her bare form. "Eyyumm Andoooo!" He slowly looked back to her cute face to let out a soft chuckle at her attempt at English.

She transformed away from her naked human form to her seemingly hybrid form. She was a pretty little thing, a canine with miraculous and beautiful feathers. Her wings were quite pretty in the dim light. Interest piqued as she let out an affectionate coo-like gesture, rubbing her body against the cage like a feline. He watched her flop onto her back, her feathered wings splayed across the ground. He looked into her bright yellow eyes, his smile only widening, laying his lean skull onto his claws. "Andooooo!" A laugh quietly slipped from his mouth, watching her almost playful nature. However the frown that lighted her lips made his head twitch backwards ever so slightly, a frown of his own created upon his muzzle. He watched as her bright eyes traveled over his body making him almost insecure at how ragged he looked, scorpion tail curling around him slightly. "Muuhr... Andoo?" He followed her finger to look at one of the open wounds that laid on his side, it was more like a gash than anything. However the edges had dried and hardened with now stiff blood. A quietened sigh escaped him before slowly shaking his head. He pointed a claw towards the other fighters that had been caged a little distance away from them. "Them." He said before leaning his snout over, claw dropping to the bottom oft he cage. Poking his snout to her injured finger, he licked the blood off of it gently as an almost fatherly gesture. A soft purr rumbled from his throat before dropping his head near the bars, just slightly inside the cage once more. He shifted his body so the side of it was pressed up against the front of it and rolled onto his back to expose his belly like a canine.

Andrew

Pierce

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[attr="class","gContainer"]WORDS

[attr="class","gbox"]1218

[attr="class","gContainer"]NOTES

[attr="class","gbox"]So done

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] May 26, 2015 12:33:26 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 12:33:26 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

To a mind such as hers, restless, inquisitive, observant to everything of even the mildest interest that passed, it was easy to suppose that such an odd place could satisfy her curiosity, even for a dreadfully short time, the dark recesses of the underground tunnels lost to the acknowledgement of mankind. Her mind perpetually wandered back at the sight of the dark, reeling back to the scattered fragments of her memory of Roiss, the comfort he once offered her. It saddened her, for good reason; inconsolability throbbed within her heart, gaze briefly wavering from the tunnels before her. Lest, the best thing for being sad, and to rid oneself of such a haunting emotion, she suspected, was to learn something new; that was the only thing that never failed. One may grow old and tremble in their anatomy, one may lay awake at night listening intently to the disorder of their veins, one may miss their only love to a point of the purest sorrow, one may see the world about them devastated by evil lunatics, or one may know their honour to be trampled by the most basic minds. There was only one thing for it then, to learn. Learn why the world swayed and what swayed it; that was the only thing the mind could never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Leaning was the only thing; one only had to be willing to look what a lot of things there were to learn.

The important thing was to never stop questioning, for curiosity was set upon the earth and in the hearts of beasts for that very purpose. What one learnt today, for seemingly no reason at all, would help one discover all the wonderful secrets and adventures of tomorrow. The instincts of man and beast alike were to see the impossibility of tracking down everything as frustrating, dispiriting, perhaps even appealing, though finding it to be unbearably exciting; was that not human nature at it's best? Beyond all science, philosophies, theologies, and histories, a child's relentless inquiry was truly all it took to remind one of how much they had yet to know. Adults so often envied the open-hearted and open-minded explorations of children; sighting their joy and curiosity, adults often pined for their own capacity for wide-eyed wonder, or at least was such from what she'd seen thus far within this life. It was daring to be curious of the unknown, to dream big dreams, to live outside the prescribed boxes, to take risks, and above all, daring to investigate the deepest treasures purpose of one's existence. Inquisitiveness was the single most important attribute within humans; more than a simple desire to discover or no things, curiosity was a powerful tool, akin to any scalpel or flashlight. Curiosity changed people. It was a way to effect change, perhaps even on a global level, more powerful than any knife or fun alone. The essence of life itself, nothing could make one stronger than their fragile heart.

Gaining an unmasked smile upon the great beast producing a feline-like purr, the young woman's fingers delicately entwined with the striped fur, avoiding tugging on it or applying any form of pressure for the fear of harming him further, smoothing it down against scarred flesh with a tenderness unrivalled by her unusually overexcited action. He was an intriguing being, to say the least. Her gesture and smile alike faltered, however, upon the caged male's eyes knotting onto her own, the melancholy plaguing their mismatched depths, the evident despondency causing her throat to tighten, fresh tears stinging the corners of her dark almond eyes. Regardless of the nature of any creature, she couldn't bear to see pain; she had yet to experience any form of personal suffering outside physical injuries. Her heart yearned to somehow comfort him, to bring at least a spark of joy springing into those oddly toned orbs, silently damning the bars between them. Blinking slowly at the subtle trace of a smile curled upon his muzzle, her own broadened dramatically at the sight, tipping her own skull on one side to regard the welcomed sight in a brief moment of quiet. Excitedly mimicking the initially thought brutish beast, this 'Andrew', she pointed to herself, repeating his words to the best of her ability (albeit, badly, though the effort was certainly there), brow riddle furrowing in confusion as his facials twisted away from her, shock fluttering through his irises. Initially suspecting she'd done something wrong, her gaze dropped to the concrete below, releasing a hushed, whimper-like keen, though it faded promptly as he chuckled, anther gesture she connotated to at least a dampened happiness.

The forebody of the hybrid shifter bobbed excitedly, talons scraping lightly across the concrete as she drew her body alongside the cage, rubbing feathers and fur alike against the metal bars, cooing softly all the while, vocals laced with unfounded affection for the chimera. A grin stretched across her features, staring back at him, snorting in amusement at the fact that he was upside down (or rather, she was, considering she was laid upon her back), squealing excitedly as his smile widened and a hushed laugh left him. However, finding herself faintly inquisitive once more, this time for the sake of his own well being, a talon gestured towards the open wound, lowering her rump into a sitting position, tail feathers curling around her forepaws, gazing back at him through undeniably odd orbs - a pale green around the pupil, yellow flecked with grey, rimmed with black. Large, coyote-like audits pinned against her skull, orbs reflecting sympathy for the male. Following the direction in which he gesture to, her head whipped round, staring over at another heavily breathing mass within one of the cages of an undecipherable species. She studied it inquisitively for a moment, blinking slowly, though her attention snapped back to the chimera as a faint pain fluttered through her limb, cooing softly down towards the being of whom was lapping at her wound, lifting the injured forelimb and gently running a talon down his snout, albeit too softly to cause damage, only intending affection. However, feeling another pair of eyes upon her, the feline, twisted her attention towards the canid that ha inflicted injury upon her, who was eying her in annoyance, lips caught in a snarl. The intensity set within his eyes set her on edge; quite abruptly, her sense of carelessness cut away, feeling oddly insecure surrounding by the violent animals, caged or not. The frame of the feathered feminine recoiled against the side of the male's cage, her weight pushing against the bars, whining pitifully, feathered appendages tucking tightly around her weight. Instinctively following his warmth down as he rolled onto his back, she lowered herself onto her belly, pressing her lean skull against the bars in effort to get closer to him, gently nosing at the striped fur of his side, cuddling against him as best she could with the metal contraption between them. Andrew... she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. I don't like it here... Why are you behind these bars...? What did you do to deserve this...? Why? Lest, she was unable to voice her thoughts, condemned to silence. "Andoo..." She mumbled gently, her tone full of fright, confusion, getting as close as possible to his warmth, as if he could hide her from the world.

WORDS 1234
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE you're not alone by red
NOTES <3333

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

Last Edit: May 27, 2015 14:05:29 GMT by SPARROW

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jun 2, 2015 19:44:24 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on Jun 2, 2015 19:44:24 GMT

[googlefont="Mrs Saint Delafield:400"][newclass=.gContainer]width:100px;padding:10px;position:relative;font-family:century gothic;font-weight:100;font-size:10pt;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer .gbox]vertical-align:middle;cursor:crosshair;width:110px;height:22px;overflow:auto;padding:5px;padding-top:7px;font-size:8pt;line-height:11px;position:absolute;color:#850000;left: 0px; top:0;background-color:#595959;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -moz-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -o-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer:hover .gbox]opacity:1;[/newclass]

The past is dead

Fall Asleep

To Dreams of Home

When we were in the middle of living, we were in the middle of dying. It wasn't avoidable. It never was. Fear and pain had its way of working together to weave themselves through him like a snake, crawling under his skin, making him something more, yet something weaker. If it weren't for the little yet large motivation he had, he would of stopped breathing a long time ago. Maybe.. he already has, that just the blood flowing through him is just an illusion. Just a dream, letting him know that no matter what it'll never end because it never does. It's always a cycle of pain and misery, swirling through his broken mind and the hole in his heart like a forsaken storm. He was made to explode, made to die, just as true as the tears staining his face he was dead inside. He never wanted it to be like this, he never asked to have to bleed just to know he was alive. But, then again he never asked for any of this. Never asked to be the demon he knew he was, to shed blood onto this already darkened world, to provide entertainment to those who wanted to see the wonders of the leftovers of God's creations... and Madelynn?.... She was the heaven... he had never asked for. And yet, he got her, she was more than he could ask for, and yet his love for her was bigger than his own life. He used to believe that love was a weakness. That nobody ever felt loyalty or devotion to another, that everybody was just going to go away, one way or another. But, it seems his own morals had been picked up by the dust. She brought him to life, she brought him an unexpected happiness, and even if the angel had broken wings, it brought heaven with it. Perhaps one day, she would understand, how hard he tried, how hard he fought just to keep her safe. But it was in human nature to make mistakes was it not?

The monster listened to her purring, making his eyes shine with a... foreign feeling. He couldn't quite understand what it was, but it made him look at her in the most cute way he hasn't quite experienced. Madelynn had a beautiful and elegant way to her, he hadn't quite seen something like this small little hybrid. The giant let her quietly rub his fur on his scar, causing a sharp wince from him. He laid his head on the ground, dull orbs looking into into her own gaze. However the way tears started to swell in her eyes made him instantly worry. His muzzle shot up to push through the bars and lick the corner of her eyes tenderly as a way to wipe them away. ~~don't be weird about it.~~ However the grin lightening her facial features made a soft laugh bubble from him. A soft huff of air blew out his nose to boop her own with his muzzle. His blue and red eyes drug to her frame as she ran her body along the metal bars of the cage, reminding him of a domestic feline. He listened to her serious of soft yet affectionate gestures.She flopped onto her back, squealing with a form of heightened happiness. His grin only widened on his scaled muzzle, before she took on a more worried demeanor. His eyes gazed into her own sympathetic ones, making his facial features sadden. A soft noise rumbled from her once more as he tenderly cleaned up the blood from her wound, making him briefly stop. The light touch of her talon made him release a soft purr, eyes closing for a moment. However a snarl had ruined the moment of affection and made his eyes snap open. His own growl rumbled in his throat, raising slightly, forced into a stalk-like position he would use for hunting. A front leg slipped through the bar to protectively place itself on her chest, pulling her to the cage as a roar bellowed from him. Ivories bared before slowly clamping his jaws shut and releasing a threatening growl.

Once he had settled down, he flopped on his back and exposed his belly. A ticklish nose caused a deep purr to stir from the now gentle creature, his body curling inwards to her muzzle. "Andoo..." A soft smile curled onto his muzzle once more, snout ducking to her cheek to nuzzle against it the best he could. "It's okay." He reassured the little hybrid, tears swelling in his eyes. He didn't know who she was or why she was here, but all he knew was that she was genuine and she was sweet and caring. She was special and he knew it. He let out a whine before resting his head on his talons, sighing in a melancholy and slightly hopeless demeanor. Everything wasn't okay... it never was. He was trapped here and nobody knew it except for this woman, and he highly doubted she spoke english. Would he ever see the light of day again?

Andrew

Pierce

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[attr="class","gbox"]@naujiccakavexis

[attr="class","gContainer"]WORDS

[attr="class","gbox"]971

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[attr="class","gbox"]So cute my heart

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jun 7, 2015 16:25:13 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 16:25:13 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

Magic was sourced purely from the heart, from inner feelings, from the deepest expressions of desire; such was the exact reason why black magic was so simplistic to master, derived from lust, from fear, from anger, from things that were easy to feed and cause to fester. The sort of magic she wielded was undoubtedly harder to gain a grip with. She was a beautiful dreamer; the kind of girl of whom kept her head within the clouds, loved above the stars and left regret beneath the earth she walked on. It came from something much deeper than notions of hatred, a truer and purer source; harder to tap, harder to keep, but ultimately wielding more elegance, more potency. It was a manifestation of what she believed, what she lived; from her desire to see to it that someone stood between the darkness and those it devoured. From her soul, from her life. It came from the hope that she could make things better for another living being, lost tottering upon the void of insanity. Somewhere, within all that, she briefly touched upon something that hadn't been tapped out, something that hadn't yet gone cold and numb within her as the despondency of her encounter with Roiss set down upon her. She had long since grasped it, held it within her hands like a firefly, willed its energy out, into the circle she had created with the spinning amulet on the end of its chain. Hope.

Man wielded the power to survive roughly forty days without food, roughly three days without water, roughly eight minutes without air... But for only a singular, miniscule second without hope. To live on a day-to-day basis was insufficient for human beings; one needed to transcend, transport, escape; one needed meaning, understanding, and explanation; one needed to see patterns in their lives. One needed hope, the sense of a future. And one needed freedom (or, at least, the illusion of freedom) to get beyond themselves, whether with telescopes and microscopes and man's ever-burgeoning technology, or in states of mind that allowed one to travel to other worlds, to rise above one's immediate surroundings. One might have sought out, too, a relaxing of inhibitions that makes it easier to bond with one another, or transports that made one's consciousness of time and mortality easier to bear. One sought out a holiday from their inner and outer restrictions, a more intense sense of the here and now, the beauty and value of the world one lived in. The monstrous thing was not that man had created roses out of the dung heap, but that, for some reason or another, they would want roses. For some reason or another, man looked for the miracle, and to accomplish it he would wade through blood; he would debauch himself with ideas, he would reduce himself to a shadow if only one second of his life he wields the capability to close his eyes to the hideousness of reality. Everything was endured - disgrace, humiliation, poverty, war, crime, ennui - in the belief that overnight something would occur, no less than a miracle, which would render life tolerable. That was hope, in the truest of forms, to every extent of the world. But when man was born of risen apes, not fallen angels, the apes were armed killers besides. And so what shall one wonder at? The murders and massacres and missiles, of humanity's irreconcilable regiments? Or the treaties whatever they may be worth; mankind's symphonies however seldom they would be played; the peaceful acres, however frequently they would be converted into battlefields; one's dreams however rarely they would be accomplished. The miracle of man was not how far he had sunk but how magnificently he had risen. And, she believed, to the very bottom of her heart, that humans would be known among the stars by their poems and songs, of the dancing and the dreaming, than by their corpses. But Andrew? He would remembered for so many things beyond that, despite the short amount of time spent lingering within his sorrowful presence, the pitiful nature of his existence more than enough to fully enrapture the feminine, to cause her to feel responsible for the maintenance of what little joy he could still muster.

As the odd male visibly winced upon her fingertips brushing against the scar, the feminine instinctively withdrew her hand for the fear of causing him more pain, her glittering eyes apologetic as they set back upon the injured individual. Having morphed into her animalistic counterpart by such a point, stark amber eyes grew faintly watered upon considering the pain the chimera must be experiencing; a deep, throbbing pang of sympathy welled within her own chest, though before much consideration beyond that could be thrown out to the thought, she found the scaled muzzle of the male shoving upwards and within close proximity of her own facials, eyes squeezing shut as the beast's tongue licked at the corners of them. The sensation was odd, an equally strange squeak leaving the feminine in attempt to stifle the giggle that rose within her throat, her mouth stretching steadily into a comical grin, listening tentatively to the soft laugh he gave in response, savouring the sound while it lasted. The soft breath that puffed from his nostrils, and the equally gentle bump he gave her muzzle, enticed forth another hushed giggle, bringing a paw, tipped with dull talons, up to bat at his snout in a playful fashion, rubbing her lithe frame alongside the bars, before rolling onto her back.

The soft purr he produced as the talons gently moved up his snout drew an inquisitive coo from the feminine, and assuming that he enjoyed such contact, she repeated it, two talons tenderly moving up the scales of his neb. Though, she found her facials scrunching slightly in confusion, coyote-like audits perking forward, her attention set upon the large scars upon the beast, their origins promptly pointed out. Perhaps she would have been angry at the beasts in the other cages for harming her Andrew, should she have wielded any form of capability to hold grudges, though all she found was another stab of unexplained guilt within her heart as the odd canid snarled over at her, recoiling against the bars of the chimera's cage with the desperate urge to uncover protection, her automatic response to aggression. The urge to flee firmly set within her mind, though the notion of abandoning the chimera to his lonesome kept her standing firmly in place, only able to watch the snarling canine with a fearful expression, radiating fright. However, her terror drifted into confusion as a clawed forelimb shifted to pull her closer to the cage, her slim mass easily moving with his pull, dragging her tear-filled amber eyes back up to face the chimera, his facials caught in a violent expression, even more aggressive than that of the canine. However, the feminine bore not even the slightest fear of the chimera himself; this was Andrew. Andrew wouldn't hurt her. Never. Her ears pulled back against her skull, his bellow ringing within them, squeezing her eyes briefly shut, instead choosing to crane her head back through the bars and press her muzzle into his fur, sheltering herself from the sorrow and the hate of the monstrous beasts within the surrounding cages.

Another deep purr from the chimera's throat had her burying her facials deeper into his pelt, quietly whispering her attempt to vocalize his name. Feeling the texture of his scales rubbing against her cheek, the feminine reluctantly pulled her snout from pressing into the brute's side and instead sought to gently return his nuzzle; despite knowing not what the words he spoke meant, they emitted reassurance, calm. Her breathing steadied, blinking back frightened tears, a shaky exhale slipping from her maw, slowly regaining her composure. Granted, her emotions were easy to bring forth, especially those joyous; better that than to restrain them, or so she believed. Audits flickered upon hearing his hopeless huff, blinking pitifully towards him, and for a moment, she found herself rather lost for what to do. How could she be of comfort to him? How was she supposed to make him see that she would be there for him? How could she tell him that she'd do anything to see him happy? Another struggled breath left her, before a hushed string of latin left her. "Ne umquam desieris credere... Semper spes est." With the knowledge that he wouldn't understand those words, she put to use one of the few things she had properly deciphered from the human language, extending a paw to gently press it against his shoulder blade. "H-..." She hesitated, brow furrowing, struggling to reminisce the word. "H-o... Howp..." she struggled, glancing sanguinely over towards him. "Hope..." Always hope, Andrew. Always.

WORDS 1473
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE you're not alone by red
NOTES -frantically cuddles nandos- they'resofriggincuteomfg <33

TRANSLATION Ne umquam desieris credere meaning never stop believing.
Semper spes est meaning there is always hope.

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jun 7, 2015 22:32:23 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on Jun 7, 2015 22:32:23 GMT

[googlefont="Mrs Saint Delafield:400"][newclass=.gContainer]width:100px;padding:10px;position:relative;font-family:century gothic;font-weight:100;font-size:10pt;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer .gbox]vertical-align:middle;cursor:crosshair;width:110px;height:22px;overflow:auto;padding:5px;padding-top:7px;font-size:8pt;line-height:11px;position:absolute;color:#850000;left: 0px; top:0;background-color:#595959;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -moz-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -o-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer:hover .gbox]opacity:1;[/newclass]

The past is dead

Fall Asleep

To Dreams of Home

Hope. Such a silly emotion. Many people wished to have emotions, wished to feel something, anything, just to make sure they were even human. But him? No... it was quite the opposite. He never wanted feelings. Never wanted to feel the stinging burn in his skin, the broken feeling in his heart, the way his mind would break just because insanity was knocking at his door. But, he guessed if he didn't feel anything, then Madelynn could never trust him for the love he wished to feel he could never bear. And maybe that's what scared him. Was her leaving. Him leaving her to be alone and defenseless. It wasn't okay. It never was. He was a complicated man, but it was no doubt he was dangerous. Didn't mean he wasn't bad. He was a good man, really, he just... needed somebody. Somebody who wasn't as broken as him, or even more. But then again what did he have to cry for? He was alone? Nobody wanted him? There were far worst situations he could be in... he had something to be grateful for, had something to strive for. But he knew there was something else. It was right in front of his eyes and yet he was so blind to the sweetness that life could bring. The hope it could carry its way to him. He didn't know where it was, what he had to do, but whatever it was he had to do it. And he could start by getting back home. Poor Madelynn.... and little Adilynn. The poor little girl had some of his blood in her, something he never thought he would think to himself. He never believed he would ever get a family for nobody could love somebody like him. Nobody cared for his presence, nor his emotions. It was all just a game.. a sick twisted game. And unfortunately he was the pawn. His heart and mind was a battlefield, his state of body even worst. But putting on a mask was always fun, right? Like little children games, costumes were all they were. When nobody could tell what was going on inside. When nobody could ever know him for the true beast he was. There was good in him but it could not compare to the tidal wave of sins that he had inside. Demons were all they were.... demons was all he was.

The sharp inhale he made from the stinging wound made her bak away. He swallowed down the slight guilt of making her think she could do anything wrong. A quick recovery was made when he licked away her tears, trying to reassure her that it was okay. He offered a smile when she tried to hold back a giggle or a laugh, making some cute little squeak worm its way out. A snort of amusement blew out his nares before nudging her affectionately. He listened to her laughs, felt her talons gently but playfully push his muzzle away. He stuck his reptilian-like tongue out as she acted like a puppy, rolling onto her back to the floor as she slid off the metal bars. The woman had no idea of the dangers, of the risks she was taking by being near him, being down here... but for just a moment... he had forgotten too.

A gentle, cat-like purr made another coo roll out of her muzzle. He leaned his snout into her touch, savoring the way it was so soft, so gentle. It contrasted so strongly to the treatments he was given, his wings being unable to fly now, the scars that tainted his body like battle wounds. And maybe that's just what this was. A battle for his life, a test, just to see if he could fight for his life, for what he knew before. For what he could have. For what he once did. Maybe he would fight, seemed his new friend brought him faith. Nobody knew he was down here and if they did they didn't care... except for this woman. This sweet hybrid... the only one who knew he was here. Could Madelynn feel what he felt? This pain? Did she know he didn't leave her to suffer on purpose? The thought of his beloved drifted to his mind like a hazy fog, making his purring stop for a moment before resuming once more. However the vicious sound of snarling ruined the moment of what could be called sweetness. In an instance he was up on his legs and baring his ivories. A limb curled around the tiny hybrid, roaring loudly at the dog. Fortunately not a spark of flames lit from his throat, however his anger slowly died down as the hybrid buried herself in his fur. A snort left his nostrils before sitting back on his haunches and laying down.

The large beast allowed the little female to cuddle up against his fur. He kept an arm wrapped around her protectively, talons squeezing her side gently. He brushed his snout against the top of her head lovingly. Was it bad to say that he felt like a father to her? How could somebody he met so soon take his affection so quickly? He nuzzled her cheek gently, but saw the tears and the shaky breathing. His nose pressed to her forehead calmly, heart beating against his chest quietly. However he pulled his head away to release his own sigh, blinking back the tears. He had to be strong. He always had to be. It was just a mask he had to wear, to avoid any more pain. Avoid anybody that could want to hurt him... but, guess he did a pretty bad job at that too, huh? "Ne umquam desieris credere... Semper sees est." He tilted his head to the side slightly in confusion before she began to try to speak English. "H-... H-o...Howp... Hope...." She laid her paw against his shoulder blade, the hard material of her talons gently brushing against his shoulder. Tears streamed down his face slowly, a sob wracking and shaking his body fiercely. He shoved his skull into the side of her neck, weeping softly against her fur.

Andrew

Pierce

[attr="class","gContainer"]TAG

[attr="class","gbox"]@naujiccakavexis

[attr="class","gContainer"]WORDS

[attr="class","gbox"]1152

[attr="class","gContainer"]NOTES

[attr="class","gbox"]Gonna go die k bye

template by SKYE at CAUTION 2.0

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jun 11, 2015 18:12:46 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2015 18:12:46 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

Some catastrophic moments held the capability to invite clarity, then explode within split moments one smashed their hand through a windowpane, blood and shattered glass stained with cardinal crimson scatters about the place; one fell from a window, breaking some bones and peeling some skin within the process. Stitches and casts, bandages and antiseptic withheld the capability to solve and salve the wounds. Though depression was not a sudden disaster, for it was more so akin to cancer. Initially, it's tumorous mass was barely noticeable to even a careful eye, and abruptly, there was a huge, seven-pound lump of the body's own creation of which was now attempting to kill you. Depression was much alike; gradually, over the years, the data accumulated within the heart and mind, a computer program installing total negativity into the system, causing life to feel more and more unbearable with each passing second. However, one barely noticed such a lengthened build-up, believing it to be somehow normal, until one day one would awaken and come to the sudden realization that their life was no less than awful, barely worth living, a horror and a black dot upon the white terrain of human existence. One morning one would wake up afraid to live, to survive, to pull through. In her case, those few years ago, following the incident with Roiss, she had never been frightened by the prospect of living, for she was certain, very certain, she had long since deceased; the withering away of her body was a mere formality. Her spirit, her emotional being, all her inner turmoil that had nothing to do with physical existence, were already dead and gone, only a mass of the most god-awful excruciating pain left to burn and leech from her spine like a pair of hot tongs, pressing each and every nerve, was left in it's wake. She had felt like her heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could never be true, pure joy again, that at best their might be the faintest of contentment; she was left to grieve, to lie in the mud with her arms wrapped around her self, eyes closed, suffering until she didn't have to anymore.

However, heightened self-consciousness, apartness, loneliness, the inability to join in, physical shame, self-loathing - they were not all bad; those devils had been her angels. Without them, she likely would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter, and all the mad intensities that had made and unmade her. The lotus was among the most beautiful of flowers, whose petals opened one by one, however, it would only grow within the mud. Thus, in order to grow and gain wisdom, she had realized, first one must have the mud, the obstacles of life and their suffering. The mud spoke of the common ground that all living beings shared, no matter what their stations within life; whether one had it all or one had nothing, each and every being was faced with the same obstacles; sadness, loss, illness, dying, disgust, hopelessness. However, if one wished to acquire more wisdom, more kindness, and more compassion, one must have the intention to grow, akin to a lotus, and open each and every petal one by one upon the surface of despair, to make something beautiful of the beastly. Depression wasn't simply a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just was, like the weather. She could do no more than attempt to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness he was going through; try to be there for him when he emerged from the other side. Lest, it was difficult to be louder than another's demons, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things one could ever do. There were many things she wished to tell him. Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Though, she was damned to misinterpretation and misunderstanding, incapable of communicating him, condemned to witnessing his constant confusion each and every time she attempted to open her mouth. As her hand retracted from his shoulder blade, the thought of the inability to communicate such things filled her heart with dread, with pain, with sympathy for the proclaimed 'dangerous' beast before her, edging slightly away for the fear of inflicting further unnecessary harm upon him, oblivious to the faint guilt she caused. Though, amusement shrouded her mind was the odd, rough sensation of his tongue swept across the corners of her eyes, presumably to dismiss her tears, the feminine's fairly high-pitched laughter soon breaking from her lips, unable to be held back for long. The hybrid beamed brightly back at him, grin plastered upon her facials, any and all potential threats or danger long since forgotten, her fear of the dark faded by the presence of the chimera, fully focused upon him, consumed by the intent of bringing him joy, as if that was the only thing she desired of life, all she wanted.

A small smile settled upon the feminine's features as his snout craned into her touch, talons trailing up his dolichocephalic muzzle, settling gently between his eyes, inquisitively studying that area. Somehow, she found herself longing to be able to reach into his mind, and pull out the monster he'd been, every demon that had ever dared to plague him. Her smile dropped into a slight frown, if only at her own inability to alleviate his pain, his suffering. The fact that she couldn't chase down the lonely remnants of happiness to a point of which they'd remain with him. However, her attention was quickly stolen by the agitated snarling of the canid, of whom was silenced only by the equally violent roaring from the male. The feminine was aware of the glaring eyes of the dog for only a few seconds longer, the creature only turning away when the hybrid recoiled and shrunk down alongside the bars of the chimera's cage. Instinctively searching for the male's warmth and cuddling up against him, the faint brush of his snout caused a momentary flinch from the feminine, having not expected the notion, though she promptly began to relax with his gentle touch, nudging affectionately, albeit half-heartedly, against the snout that came to nuzzle her cheek. Slowly, she dismissed her own tears, her attention and heart alike going out to the male as the shaky exhale left him. That singular, fragmented word was filled with more emotion than any other speech that had left her mouth upon this day, sympathy, pain, sadness, empathy and despondency swirling within her hushed vocals, amber eyes fixating hopefully upon him, paw reaching through the bars of the cage and setting upon his shoulder, praying to bring him some form of comfort through the action. feeling the wetness of tears through her fur, her speech

Her expression crumbled, however, as the chimera's facials pressed against her neck, feeling the wetness of tears through her fur, her speech having had the opposite of intended effects upon him. A sharp, shocked intake of breath was all she gave for a moment, though she didn't flinch away, merely gazing down at him for a moment. He was dying. Maybe not physically, but somewhere within that caged heart of his, something was withering away. She could feel it. Her eyes softened, gently bringing her nose down to press against his scales, rubbing her delicate facials softly against the crest of his neck as best she could, a hushed whine slipping from the hybrid's maw, before tumbling back into a solemn silence, yellow orbs clenched shut. How could somebody do this? How could someone trap him within this damned metal contraption and witness such pain on a day to day basis? The pain, the thoughts, the demons in his mind... The heaviness of his heart was unbearable to her eyes; in that moment, she swore to herself that, regardless of what he had been, what he was, and what he would become, she'd care for him; no matter how worthless, hopeless, invisible, screwed up, helpless, damaged, lost, fragile, flawed, confused, hurt, unlovable, sad, ruined and scared he saw himself, she'd always care for him. This wouldn't be how it ended, she wouldn't let it be. And that was more sure than her need to breathe, to eat, to survive as an individual; this mattered more to her than anything within her quaint little life. He meant more to her than life itself. To emphasize that in the best way possible, the feminine withdrew her head from nuzzling the chimera's neck, instead seeking to lick gently at his forehead, withholding a silent acknowledgement of the despondency he possessed.

WORDS 1465
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE coma baby & little bird
NOTES -dies of cuteness-

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

Andrew Gap Pierce
Fable

"The loneliness wants to follow me to bed"

Posts: 64

200x300 avatar: http://orig06.deviantart.net/a13c/f/2015/254/1/6/chris_hemsworth_6_by_xanimalgirl345667x-d999n94.jpg
App: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/26/andrew-pierce-cottnip
Plot: http://free-rein.boards.net/thread/589/tis-fault-stars-cottons-plotter

I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jul 13, 2015 6:07:55 GMT

Quote

Post by Andrew Gap Pierce on Jul 13, 2015 6:07:55 GMT

[googlefont="Mrs Saint Delafield:400"][newclass=.gContainer]width:100px;padding:10px;position:relative;font-family:century gothic;font-weight:100;font-size:10pt;line-height:14px;letter-spacing:1px;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer .gbox]vertical-align:middle;cursor:crosshair;width:110px;height:22px;overflow:auto;padding:5px;padding-top:7px;font-size:8pt;line-height:11px;position:absolute;color:#850000;left: 0px; top:0;background-color:#595959;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -moz-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out; -o-transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;transition: 0.5s all ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.gContainer:hover .gbox]opacity:1;[/newclass]

The past is dead

Fall Asleep

To Dreams of Home

Andrew's eyes softened at the sight of her small tender smile. He released a breath of content as a talon nestled between his eyes as she fixated her interest on his upper face area. His expression turned to one of concern as her smile dropped. His muzzle moved forward slowly and hesitantly to nuzzle her forehead briefly, just a brush of his rough scaly skin. The sharp bark slicing through the air sharply, making him stand to his legs, though careful as to not let his back at the top of the cage to prevent a panic attack. He pulled his hybrid friend to the cage, jaws parting widely in a thunderous roar. Pupils dilated threateningly, lips twitching as they parted to reveal white ivories. A snarl rumbled deep in his throat until the mangy mutt shut up. Allowing himself to slowly lay down once more, he furled his talons against his friend, pulling her closer as he pressed his furry chest against the metal bars. He could feel her soft face pressing against his fur the best she could. His heart flitted with a type of fatherly love, a need to protect, a need to help. At her flinch he slowly reeled back in surprise before hesitantly nuzzling her once more. She returned the gesture, rubbing her head against his chin.

The way she said the word. How even just saying it's name spoke of something greater than he could believe. Something bigger than what he could see. He could understand and yet couldn't comprehend it. It was so complex. So simple. So graceful. So hideous. He didn't want to see it, he couldn't. The light it brought was so blinding, too bright, too white. He wanted to see it, he wanted to reach out to it and hold it within his heart to keep. But it wasn't his to hold. It didn't accept him. It didn't want him. He had been left in the dark for too long that his eyes became accustomed to the shadows that cloaked him, that revealed and both hid what was underneath the disguise. He looked to the sky in hope and was met with something too bright for his dark heart, for his even darker demons. He had to hide. Had to escape of something he needed but couldn't have. The way the word shakily but surely left her mouth made tears swell in his gaze, eyes becoming blurry. Her frame became wavy as he pulled her close, shoving his features into her fur. He held her the best he could as the metal bars held him back. Kept him away from true sanity. From what could be. From what he could have. She was his hope, she was his light. She shone in the darkness to guide him to the stars, but the bars of his monsters kept him back as though to tease him.

The comforting paw on his back made him tremble as a sob wracked him, his form shaking violently. He could feel her soft fur and skin rubbing against his harsh neck. His breathing became irregular, shaky, raggedy. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see. Couldn't feel. The only thing his sharp talons could feel was her figure. Her fur brushing against the texture of his claws. Nostrils flared as he begged for air, he felt himself drowning in his own sorrows. Eyes flew wide as his heart pounded against his head. His heart pounded in his throat, blood and adrenaline rushing through him. He choked as he breathed for air, talons gripping her closer as if he needed confirmation he wasn't dying. That his skin hadn't gone numb. That he could still hold his only light closer. His jaws parted, shaky breathing coming from it, his heart racing. He could feel a wetness against his head as she swiped her tongue on his forehead. Wide eyes snapped to her before licking the tear stains from her eyes. His legs became shaky, and in fear of accidentally hurting the small hybrid with his grip he scrambled back before making a wrong slip against the bottom of the cage, making him slide onto his side. His heart raced as wide eyes stared at the now side ways world. His reality had become blinding. It was too bright with her here. A groan escaped him as his eyelids drooped, energy drained from him as he struggled to breathe. He could see the hallucination of Madelynn slowly come to the side his face had pointed itself in. She crouched near the bars, a slender arm slipping in the cage to gently brush against his cheek. "Sorry, hun." Was all he heard before she disappeared. With a last apologetic glance to his new found friend he closed his eyes and drifted to his dreams.

Andrew

Pierce

[attr="class","gContainer"]TAG

[attr="class","gbox"]@naujiccakavexis

[attr="class","gContainer"]WORDS

[attr="class","gbox"]925

[attr="class","gContainer"]NOTES

[attr="class","gbox"]He had a casual panic attack nbd ;u;

template by SKYE at CAUTION 2.0

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I Still Remember [Naujicca] Jul 13, 2015 17:06:27 GMT

Quote

Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2015 17:06:27 GMT

SLOWLY FADING AWAY YOU'RE LOST AND SO AFRAID WHERE IS THE HOPE IN A WORLD SO COLD LOOKING FOR A DISTANT LIGHT SOMEONE WHO COULD SAVE A LIFE YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR THAT NOBODY WILL HEAR YOUR CRIES I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL I WON'T LEAVE YOU I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE NOT ALONE YOUR HEART IS FULL OF BROKEN DREAMS JUST A FADING MEMORY AND EVERYTHING'S GONE BUT THE PAIN CARRIES ON LOST IN THE RAIN AGAIN THE ARMS OF RELIEF SEEM SO FAR OUT OF REACH BUT I I AM HERE I AM WITH YOU I WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT ALL

Within a system which denies the existence of basic human rights, fear bore a tendency to become the order of the day. Fear of imprisonment, fear of torture, fear of death, fear of losing friends, family, property or means of livelihood, fear of poverty, fear of isolation, fear of failure. A most insidious form of fear was that of which masqueraded as common sense or perhaps even as wisdom, condemning as foolish, reckless, insignificant or futile the small, daily acts of courage which helped to preserve man's self-respect and inherent human dignity. It was not easy for a people conditioned by fear under the iron rule of the principle that might is right to free themselves from the enervating miasma of fear. Yet even under the most crushing state, machinery courage bore the power to rise again and again, for fear was not the natural state of civilized man. Yet all men lived enveloped in whale-lines. All were born with halters round their necks, but it was only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life. Even the plainest of events was tied down by a thick tangle of permutation and possibility, yet the human mind struggled with such complexity. One would stand aside as said great complexity intruded, tearing apart, piece by piece, all the carefully conceived denials, whether deliberate or unconscious. And for better or worse one would turn, unable to resist, though try to resist one still might, fighting with everything one had not to face the thing they most dreaded, what was, what would be, what had always come before, the creature one truly was, the creature all men were, buried in the nameless black of a name. In times of trouble, when the belief in simple gods broke down, a cult of conspiracy so often arose. Unable to attribute misfortune to chance, unable to accept their ultimate insignificance within the greater scheme, mankind looked for monsters in their midst. And nothing could possibly describe the withering horror of such a notion. Brother on brother. Lost, sick at heart before such unmasked hatred, not so much because it threatened them as because it revealed humans in such an inhumane light. They saw a kind of insanity, something so obscene that hate very obscenity of it, as a pose to its threat, terrified them. Perhaps the denial, the capture, of the gentle brute's existence was just a representation of that; the fear of inexperience, the fear of difference, the fear of a black dot on the white terrain of human existence.

Hope, a word that can kill as well as save. A double-sided knife onto whose handle we all cling. If hope is our dreams, it takes courage to strive for those dreams; to not abandon hope as one of folly. A person lost can have hope of being found, but false hope, a hope that can torture a soul with promises never delivered, that is a hope nobody should have to live with.

Aurulent orbs, flecked and varied by undercurrents of verdant and pitch, studied the chimera with only warmth and empathy upon her diminutive - at least, in comparison to him - frame being pulled closer to his own patchwork hide, gingerly lowering her delicate facials until her nose pressed softly against the proclaimed beast, studying his escalating breathing pattern through the privilege of touch. The discordant, grating intakes and exhales of air vibrated throughout his thick fur and scales, radiating his agonizing struggle for oxygen. Her look abruptly flashed to one rivalled only by a deer in headlights, caught frantically off-guard by the sudden change, his current lack of stability. In a struggled attempt to steady the great brute situated within the cage, the feminine rasped her tongue across his forehead, whining almost inaudibly in question. Had she done something wrong? Had she hurt him? Was this her fault? Honeyed glass formed within her eyes, crystalline tears faintly reflecting the odd, stark yellow of her amber orbs, yet were promptly removed and dismissed by the larger creature; such an action only prompted her to lean more heavily against the confines of the cage, desperately attempting to support his frame with her own dainty form. Lest, her efforts proved to be utterly futile as the chimera shrunk back and away from her, loosing his footing within said process and ending up stumbling to the cold surface below; she instinctively cried out in shock, in confusion, in the need to see a response from the beast. All she could see was the unsteady rising and falling of his flanks... She tried to open her mouth, to call out to him, but only dreaded silence poured from jaws set agape, because for pain, words were lacking in the minds of any. There should be cries, cracks, fissures, whiteness passing over chintz covers, interference with the sense of time, of space; the sense also of extreme fixity in passing objects; and sounds very remote and then very close; flesh being gashed and blood spurting, a joint suddenly twisted - beneath all of which appears something very important, yet remote, to be just held in solitude. But there was nothing. There was absolutely nothing. The feminine frantically switched between her paws, as if unsure of where to put them, before finally skittering round to the side the brute was closest to. She could hear his laboured breathing, see the struggle within his mismatched orbs - one a rubescent scarlet, the other a glacial cerulean - with his final glance towards her. Her paw extended, stretching the limb outwards in effort to reach in frame, but lest, he was out of reach by a nail's length, the feminine's avian-inspired talons only grazing the pelt of the beast.

It was an extremely strange sensation to one of inexperienced youth to feel alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain whether the port to which they were bound could be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that they had quitted. The charm of adventure sweetened that sensation, the glow of pride warmed it. But the throb of fear disturbed it; and fear with her became suddenly predominant as he collapsed, and then she was alone. Truly alone. Perhaps if she was able she'd have held on to him, held his hand and nothing in the world could possibly persuade her to let go. No, no, no. He was so close, so close, why couldn't she-... Why couldn't she just-... Why couldn't she reach him? She cried then, for she could do little else, still desperately pawing at the space between her and the chimera, as if that would somehow reduce the empty void. She cried as if it was hell down here, as if it was a smoke filled world that would never see the light of day again. She cried as if her very innards were being torn from her flesh without a scar, harsh wails tearing through her throat in utter agony. Why couldn't she reach him? He was right there. He was there. Why? Why couldn't she-... Again, her limb shoved outwards in attempt to grasp him, only centimetres away from him. Why? Perhaps that was one of the bad things about her constantly living in the here and the now; there were no petty memories to distract her heart from the sorrow of the current moment, or no gold-infused futures to fantasize over to overcome the melancholia embedded suddenly within her heart. No, no. She just wanted Andrew back. Her Andrew.

The delicately built feminine recoiled then, though still barely acknowledging the futility of her actions, tears steamrolling down her facials without remorse; she was a free bird one minute, queen of the world, laughing; the next minute she would be in tears like a porcelain angel, about to teeter, fall and break. Her frame trembled just as violently as he, yet barely in the throws of a panic attack, consumed by the insatiable need to reach him. Faint, sinewy muscles tensed beneath the hybrid's thick plumage and fur, reining back pained cries for a brief moment, choking them down into her throat until they became hushed sobs, forcing glassy, aureate irises to refocus upon the bars of his cage. And without a moment more of hesitance, her weight careered into the metal device, intense pain jarring through her body upon the second of impact. Why couldn't she reach-...? Why-...? She knew what it was like to die. How it hurt to smile. What it was like to hurt yourself on the outside to try and kill every last thing on the inside. She knew. She knew. Maybe that was just why she hung on to the hope that everybody around her would be fine someday. Maybe that was why she told everyone to be strong. For she was the weakest person she knew. Please. Please. Her frame recoiled once again, ignoring the pain weaving through the left side of her chest and shoulder blade, slamming her weight repeatedly into the bars without a care for her own wellbeing, crying violently all the while, crying out his name. Anything, anything that could wake him up. He was breathing still, right? Please. Please. Why couldn't she reach-...? Her breathing heaved through her, sweat beginning to surface from beneath thick plumage, shoving against the metal in utter futility. Please. Please. Finally, however, she seemed to relinquish the action, her honeyed irises hesitantly squeezing shut - pressing forth a whole new volley of tears - her forehead settling against the bars, wheezing for oxygen. Please. Please. That was all she did then. That was all she could do. Please. Please.

A-Andrew... Andrew...

Please don't leave me here.

WORDS 1625
TAG Andrew Gap Pierce played by CHESHIRE COTTON
MUSE coma baby & little bird
NOTES ........... my heart is friggin broken rn omfggggg.

i won't leave you

I WILL CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING GO ♥

I Still Remember [Naujicca]

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