Post by CHESHIRE COTTON on Jun 22, 2015 2:26:22 GMT
Hey guys, It's Cotton.
And i'm writing to you because i've realized that i've never had a proper thank you. So here it is. It's been almost half a year now since I joined, but it feels like an eternity. For many years now I have always had this... black cloud building inside me, and at times I didn't know it. The several years before I joined, I was sad. And I didn't know why or how I got it, but I was. I felt like nothing I ever did would matter because I was too small to ever matter. And then I came here. You guys showed me what true understanding felt like, what it felt like to have somebody to care, to love, somebody to be there. You showed me a side of myself I never knew I could become. You made me more than what I could ever be, what I was, what I am. To me I was nothing special. I was average. To me I couldn't make a difference to anybody in their life, even though I knew I always wanted to, I felt like I couldn't or I shouldn't because how can I help somebody when I was too small to even help myself. You guys showed me more than my life was. I had been depressed, and to this day I still don't know why. I know I have scared some of you with my behavior, trying to make you care, because truth be told, i've never had somebody care. But for that I'm sorry. I don't know how it must of been, to of loved somebody, but to watch them do something dangerous and impulsive for something they didn't even know why they had.
You guys gave me a place that I could escape to. You gave me myself. And for the first time in my life I have appreciated my life, myself, for what I have. Because now I know that destiny has been so kind to me as to lead me to you. I realize that my fate has been opened to something more, to somewhere where I could love me... for me. Something I thought I could never have because I have always never mattered in the lives of others. I had always thought that my life didn't matter, that I didn't matter. But you all showed me how much I could be loved. And I know that we could never see each others face, that there's a possibility that one day we may all disappear and never meet again. But before that happens, I only want to say something I thought I would never have the chance to say.
Thank you for showing me the light. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring for me, even in one of my darkest times. I was confused about who I was, about who I wanted to be, who I am. And maybe I still am. But it's all better now that I have somebody like you guys. I love you.
And i'm writing to you because i've realized that i've never had a proper thank you. So here it is. It's been almost half a year now since I joined, but it feels like an eternity. For many years now I have always had this... black cloud building inside me, and at times I didn't know it. The several years before I joined, I was sad. And I didn't know why or how I got it, but I was. I felt like nothing I ever did would matter because I was too small to ever matter. And then I came here. You guys showed me what true understanding felt like, what it felt like to have somebody to care, to love, somebody to be there. You showed me a side of myself I never knew I could become. You made me more than what I could ever be, what I was, what I am. To me I was nothing special. I was average. To me I couldn't make a difference to anybody in their life, even though I knew I always wanted to, I felt like I couldn't or I shouldn't because how can I help somebody when I was too small to even help myself. You guys showed me more than my life was. I had been depressed, and to this day I still don't know why. I know I have scared some of you with my behavior, trying to make you care, because truth be told, i've never had somebody care. But for that I'm sorry. I don't know how it must of been, to of loved somebody, but to watch them do something dangerous and impulsive for something they didn't even know why they had.
You guys gave me a place that I could escape to. You gave me myself. And for the first time in my life I have appreciated my life, myself, for what I have. Because now I know that destiny has been so kind to me as to lead me to you. I realize that my fate has been opened to something more, to somewhere where I could love me... for me. Something I thought I could never have because I have always never mattered in the lives of others. I had always thought that my life didn't matter, that I didn't matter. But you all showed me how much I could be loved. And I know that we could never see each others face, that there's a possibility that one day we may all disappear and never meet again. But before that happens, I only want to say something I thought I would never have the chance to say.
Thank you for showing me the light. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring for me, even in one of my darkest times. I was confused about who I was, about who I wanted to be, who I am. And maybe I still am. But it's all better now that I have somebody like you guys. I love you.
